Well here is the blog post I promised about the strength of real love, and perhaps more importantly, the strength of vulnerability. So I am a strong supporter of the Fight the New Drug movement and the harm caused by pornography.
am also a huge proponent of real love, of a love you can touch and feel and not one that only exists through a series of clicks and digital pixels. You might ask why I believe this so strongly and there are many answers to that question. I could quote statistics and studies done by leading neuroscientists but I will leave those for others.
Rather, I will speak for myself and my own principles.
My Catholic heritage and upbringing is what brings much of this about. Always, I have striven to be a Catholic gentleman who upholds the highest ideals of my faith: purity, love, respect and chastity.
Have I always succeeded? Of course not! I am no perfect shining knight. I might be a dented, tired old solider but certainly no shining knight.
But I always try. I want to be the type of gentleman who does not merely open doors and says kind things, but the type who shines like a beacon for all to see via his very presence.
I want to be worthy of my future spouse and my future life. And to be worthy I have to be vulnerable and love relentlessly no matter how much it hurts. I want a crucifixion type of love. A love that is sacrificial and giving. In other words: a love which is vulnerable
I have also seen a friend torn apart by his battle with porn. I have seen him come into the apartment crying as he fought his addiction.
It ruined a relationship for him and hurt two people I care about greatly. He once even threw his laptop into a pond as a way to fight back against his addiction.
His bravery is inspiring. But it should not be necessary.
We live in a culture that has normalized porn, normalized the casual nature of it and how it objectifies men and women both. But that is not what we want.
I think we all want a connection, we want to feel love. And not to be vulgar, but we want to feel love in loins, in our hearts and souls. We want to look into eyes and see it, we want to hold a sweaty palm and feel it. We want a connection. We don't want a click, we want a connection.
But to have that connection, we need to be vulnerable. We need to open ourselves to reality and to the love of all those around us. Rather than hiding behind a computer screen, let's go out to our coffee shops, our bookstores and the city and find love.
Embrace the vulnerability, embrace the strength of being out in the open and in the sun.
The strength of the vulnerability is it allows love to flourish. And we all want that. Not only for ourselves but for each other.